Wonderful 2 days working on 4 great scripts with 8 delicious actors continuing their journey with us. So much beautiful work from first reads and text analysis through to free-writing, exploring given circumstances and taking direction. As always, simplicity is key. But to be simple we need to learn to trust ourselves fully. Which is an ongoing journey :-)
Wonderful couple of days in Manchester running Tech Gym: a damn good work out for these fabulous actors continuing to discover and trust their simplicity and truth. We had a tonne of fun. Thanks so much for hosting us Studio Bee! Next up, Scene Study!
We decided to mix things up a little with our weekly classes and turn April's 5 Tuesdays into working with camera. Over the 5 weeks these lovely actors worked on the same scene whilst being taken through the steps involved in filming: blocking, continuity, the filming of those scenes and then what happens during the editing process and how to be an editors dream.
Adam's Top Tip from the course: Screen acting requires massive trust in the process and your ability to listen. It also requires trust that as an actor you are a piece in a much larger puzzle which includes direction, sound and editing, all of which are working to add weight to your work.
What Katie of @Fly Girl Films had to say: "People were so surprised observing themselves on camera and the fact that the smallest facial gestures - even a blink or a twitch can speak a thousand words. I think watching the editing process made them realise that they’re only a very small part of the jigsaw when it comes to filmmaking and they not only have to put the trust in themselves but in everyone around them - not just the director/crew but the post production team behind the scenes too." Ah that familiar old word: T R U S T. :-)
And that marks Steph's last Core 6 Day Intensive in Manchester before she tootles off to have that baby she's been busy growing.
What a delicious group of actors, all on their own journey discovering how to be the best actor they can be.
We've also been treated to some wonderful drop ins by familiar faces too - many of our actors understand that they need to keep working and flexing their muscles so they're ready for anything and we love it. We had Leanne Rowley with 12week old Nia swing by after a casting call (does she ever stop?!). Laura Lindsay drop in just before heading off to Turkey. Tyler Cameron work out for a couple of days before his LAMDA recall, Nicki Davy before heading of to Scene Study with Play With Fire's Daniel Bradford and John Jones drop in after a play read/study at Theatre in the Mill. Chloe Massey join for Scene work between Voice Over jobs and Abdul Chunara for the weekend to continue his development. We even had writer, comedian and actor Sam Brady with us on Friday who trialed some ideas for his new play with the actors too. Exciting times!!
Part of our work lends itself so perfectly to the development of new writing so was a real treat to combine a learning process with a work in progress.
B U S Y W E E K ! ! !
Thank you all of you who have been a part of the last 6 days, you have been generous and open and an absolute treat. Now, remember to check in with yourself. Trust yourself. Then... J U M P.
In December 2016 I began the journey of starting a new actor training company. We decided on a name, I built a website and landed on a logo and began marketing the courses we’d designed. In January 2017 I found out I was pregnant - we hadn’t even ran our first course yet. I figured there’s never really a “perfect” time to fall pregnant or have a baby so I cracked on. Sadly, the pregnancy was really bloody difficult and nothing like I’d seen in films - I had horrific nausea, the hormones rushing around my body meant I could hardly walk most days and I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes which knocked me for six. The running and growth of the company was on my shoulders so I did what I could but I was physically limited in the amount I could teach which naturally had a knock on effect to making the mark we’d hoped for. Luckily my husband Iain had a full time job as a kitchen manager and chef so there wasn’t a huge amount of pressure on me to bring in too much money plus I had a few other jobs on the side.
I ran my last course in August and a couple of weeks later my waters broke whilst I was writing a blog for casting director Nicci Topping. Instead of telling Iain and zooming to the hospital I shoved a towel between my legs in the hope that I could finish it in time. I ate my last childless meal and headed into the hospital. No contractions yet so I sent Iain and best pal Evie home to sleep and, donning my sexy hospital gown and compression socks, I continued with the blog and a spot of admin.
Fox was born 2nd September via emergency C Section and we were all home 5 or 6 days later after some complications.
Iain had decided to leave his job and get something closer to home which meant we had a good chunk of time just the three of us. It was a rather productive work time for me - I couldn’t teach yet but I redesigned the entire website and booking system when Fox was sleeping or attached to a boob and continued the day to day running of the company and future courses. Iain and I had a plan: that when we eventually moved to Wales (it wasn’t looking iminent) we would co-parent so I didn’t have to give up my work. However, things changed when Iain’s new job just wasn’t what it had cracked up to be so, together, we decided to move out of rented accommodation in South Yorkshire into my mum’s house in Derbyshire (which was sat empty waiting to sell since she died), Iain would be Fox’s main carer and I would throw myself into Both Feet.
I have to admit, this is quite new to me. I’ve worked in the industry for bugger all, struggling to pay my bills for many years so for me to be the breadwinner is completely alien. But the fact is, I couldn’t give up my work, I love it too much and Iain had reached a point where he was ready for change. This meant slashing our incomings by more than half but when it’s happiness vs money, there was no question for us, so long as we had enough coming in to pay the bills and keep us bobbing along, we’d be ok.
So for the last few months Bump and I have been traveling a lot: to and from Wigan to teach at ALRA twice a week and then running back to back courses in Manchester which has meant staying away from home for 6-12 days at a time and returning for a day or two before leaving again. I Facetime Fox and Iain every morning and whenever I can. Fox actually thinks I live inside the phone. If I’m away teaching I still have to run the company so in the evenings I make myself dinner (I have Gestational Diabetes again so I have to do serious food planning, no takeaways or grab n go meals!) and then I tend to work until 10-11pm doing the more urgent admin. I try and do enough admin at night so when I have some days at home I don’t have to be locked away in a room missing even more. But it often doesn’t work out that way because we live in a world now where people expect you to respond immediately and if you don’t you lose them.
Iain and I, however, try to implement strict boundaries when I’m home: we all eat together, no phones at the table. I block in the diary days off so I can have guilt free time with Foxlet and Iain (usually spent unboxing/decorating the house!!). I leave my phone downstairs at night. I don’t do any work after our evening meal (usually around 7.30pm) because otherwise I can’t sleep (though sometimes I stupidly break this rule and then pay the consequences). I never have the sound or vibrate on my phone so when I’m with Fox I actually get to be with him. I can’t train actors to be in the moment if I’m not willing to do it myself, can I?
I’m away teaching in Manchester (and London) every other week until the week before I’m due to be induced. Don’t think it’s just about money - it really, really isn’t. I love what I do. Immensely. I must do. I’m working with some stunning actors who are either only just starting their journey with me or have been with me for a while and I don’t want to leave them or lose them. Which means I’m building in as many courses as humanly possible so we can squeeze in as much as we can together before I head off to have this baby I’ve been busy growing.
Every day Fox learns a new word. Every day Fox get’s more steady on his feet. Every day Fox learns a new trick or a new expression or a new animal noise. Everyday he becomes more sure of his place in the world. And every day I ask Iain when did he start doing that?
Yep, I can honestly say I feel like a part time mum.
Even though it’s hard, I am deliriously lucky to have Iain support me every step of the way, without him none of this would be possible. He never makes me feel guilty, even though I’m constantly abandoning him. And all he asks for in return is the odd day when I’m home to go and play a bit of golf. Even on the days I’ve promised no work and end up working he doesn’t give me a hard time. His patience and generosity as a husband and a father is something I never knew existed.
At the beginning of July it will all change as another baby Morgan makes an appearance. I can’t comprehend how that will work yet, but no doubt we will find a way, ay? Coz that’s what we do.
I wonder how other mums in the arts manage this juggling act.
I hope I can find (and keeping refining) the balance so Fox and new baby Morgs don’t grow up always feeling second best. I hope that they will grow up understanding that I love them so deeply and in order for me to be the best mum I can be I need to do the work that makes me happy too.
We have many different actors come through our (Both Feet's) doors. Some who have been in the business for years, some who have just finished drama school and are wanting to continue their training, some who are gaining experience before applying to drama school, some who have been trying to live a life without acting/theatre and can no longer suppress the burning fire inside of them and have decided sod it, life is too short. Nicki Davy falls into the latter category (you can read her previous blog here).
Nicki contacted me in July 2018 asking if she would be eligible to train with us. My question was... do you fit into our criteria of professional actor or seriously working towards an acting career? She said she thought so but she was terrified and could she try it, just to see. At this point, I have to listen to my gut - our class sizes are small and so I need to make sure that each person in our space is a good fit which means not everyone is invited to train with us. I trusted my gut told her to get signed up.
By the time she had completed the initial 2 day Intro to Meisner in August she had quit her full time job and signed up to the next part of the training. By the time she had finished The Core 6 day course in September she had booked a hair appointment to help with her "castability", booked headshots, gotten her CV together and started to look for opportunities. She has attended every class we've ran since then including intensives and weekly classes, she's also completed a month of Scene Study with the lubbly Daniel Bradford over at Play with Fire, Manchester, gotten Christmas acting work, gone to several auditions, and been cast in several roles and done a couple of ADP Scripts Aloud nights (and probably much more!). Some "actors" don't to that amount in 2 years let alone a few months. She is a sponge when it comes to learning/honing her craft and it's awesome.
I've spoken with Nicki a lot throughout and about her journey so far, in particular the plight with Spotlight. So I asked (seen as she's so wonderful at writing!) if she'd do a blog about it. Perhaps you've been/are in the same boat? Perhaps you've got a solution/an idea? Perhaps you'd like to take a punt on her? Perhaps you are Spotlight and would like to change your mind? We'd love to hear from you.
Everyone has to start somewhere. Give a determined, hardworking, talented lady a break, eh?
When I quit my full-time job to pursue a career in acting, I knew that it would be hard in lots of different ways. After all, even if an actor is lucky enough to get to auditions, there may just be someone more suitable, more qualified or better prepared that you are up against on that day. This is the business and I’ve learnt pretty quickly that a rejection for a role is not as simple as a rejection; it’s just part of the game. What would be the point in wasting energy fretting about it?
Having said that, what I wasn’t prepared for was rejection before I’ve even got started. Rejection before I even get into the room. A Whole New World of rejection, if you’ll allow me a spurious Disney reference.
As anyone in a similar position will know, this type of rejection is not a lot of fun.
Over the last 4 months, I have applied twice for a Spotlight account and received the same ‘Unsuccessful Application’ email both times.
Quite frankly, I don’t blame them at all for turning me down the first-time round; I would have laughed in my own face had I been sent my own application. But since then I have trained non-stop, been to auditions, secured roles across different types of media, worked for Equity minimum rates on 2 jobs. So, when my second application was turned down with the same template email that I got the first time round, it left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth.
On the basis that I have very little to lose, I rang them to plead my case.
During the conversation with the poor woman who was unlucky enough to pick up my call (she still didn’t accept my application, just FYI) I was told 3 things that really stuck in my throat:
1.‘If you were under 25 or you had been to drama school, we would accept you without any experience’
It’s hard to know what to say to this. As I’m nearly 10 years past this arbitrary cut-off point, there’s very little I can do to change the year that I was born. It turns out that the fact I didn’t have the insight to start my career 15 years ago is an instant mark against my name. Talk about kicking me when I’m down.
2.‘We can see that you are working, but we can’t accept any of your credits’
For me (ie. middle-aged, non-drama school alumni) it turns out that to be accepted onto Spotlight, I need to have 4 professional credits in ‘named, speaking roles in full-length theatre, film or television’. As such, the paid promenade work I did before Christmas doesn’t count; neither does the web series that is an ongoing project over the next year; nor does the full-length but unpaid play that I’ve been cast in for later this year. Apparently, not all work is created equal, and the irony of this eligibility criteria hasn’t escaped me: I can’t get access to ‘worthy’ castings without already having had access to ‘worthy’ castings and secured ‘worthy’ jobs – probably via Spotlight – which I can’t get access to because I haven’t had any ‘worthy’ castings… Crikey. Ultimately, if I was being cast in ‘professional, full-length theatre, film or television’ productions then I wouldn’t be tearing my hair out to get access to castings, no…?
3.‘Sorry, but we do have to keep a certain level of eligibility criteria. Everyone is in the same boat’
I was already on the edge by this point; this just pushed me over it.
Because by virtue of the conversation I had just had, quite clearly not everyone is in the same boat.
Did I go to drama school? No, so I’m not in the same boat as everyone who did.
Am I under 25? No, so I’m not in the same boat as anyone who is.
Am I working? Yes, absolutely. And I’m getting castings off my own back, without an agent.
Oh, you mean am I working in the things that Spotlight deems worthy? Erm… no. Sorry.
Don’t get me wrong: in no way am I suggesting that I am somehow more worthy of getting auditions than any other actor. On the contrary, I know and work with dozens of wonderful actors who are so deserving of all their success. I know that everyone out there has worked ridiculously hard to get to where they are, whatever their path has been, and I would never begrudge another actor for getting a job over me.
But the frustrating thing is that me and all the other people ‘in my boat’ (ie. the boat full of over 25s who haven’t been to drama school and are working but not working in the ‘right things’) are starting at a disadvantage. Despite working hard, securing paid work, throwing myself at this industry with everything I’ve got, I’m still not deemed ‘eligible’ to pay for the same service and be put up for the same castings as other actors.
So, what to do? Clearly everyone in my ‘boat’ just needs to continue doing what we can, making connections where we can, hoping that someone somewhere will give us a punt and lets us into an audition room when they can. Because I’d like to think that once through the door I can prove that I’m worthy of doing this, that I am wholly committed, that I will be a positive energy in a rehearsal room. Let’s just hope someone takes that punt one day, eh?
In the meantime, at least I’ve saved myself 154 quid of my hard-earned money in membership fees. Beers are on me.
Last week Steph ran the 4 day course delving into the importance and relevance of mental & physical preparation, we experimented and explored monologues (including taking them out onto the streets, in the freezing cold) and then tested ourselves with two mock auditions with 4 wonderful and generous industry experts: casting director Nicci Topping, longstanding Hollyoaks actor Nicole Barber-Lane, theatre director Kash Arshad and film producer Andy Start. We discovered the importance of T R U S T I N G Y O U R S E L F & that you can't predict or guess what people want from you so the best thing is to be brave, jump and give everything you've got which means being fully prepared too. We laughed, we cried, we froze, we warmed up (eventually!). Thank you fabulous actors for guiding each other and for giving everything you did. See you soon :-) x
- musings from mum of two, Nicki Davy
The day that I told my head of Sixth Form that I was planning to go to Manchester University to do Theatre Studies (having loved it at both GCSE and A-Level), he smiled, shook his head, and said:
‘Oh Nicki, you’re better than that! You’re so academic! In your future, I see you in a nice suit sitting behind a big desk!’
The very image makes me shudder.
To be clear, the direction I took following this conversation certainly wasn’t my teacher’s fault – quite clearly, I just wasn’t confident enough to do what I really wanted to at that time – but this is still the moment that I come back to when I think about ditching my performing dreams in favour of ‘academic talent’.
In the 16 years that have passed since then, I’ve kept myself pretty busy. I studied for a very academic Philosophy degree (scraping a thoroughly undeserved 2.1 and hating every minute of it), worked in a variety of bland admin jobs, trained as a teacher, decided not to be a teacher, did an MA in Theatre (a fantastic year that offered a brief glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, before I got pulled back into teaching for the last time), got married, had 2 children, volunteered for some local Arts organisations, worked as a children’s performer, questioned my life’s purpose and my role in the world…
It was at this point that I reconnected with the wonderful Steph Morgan. We hadn’t seen each other since we worked on a project for WYTN some years previously, but when she popped up on my Facebook feed something prompted me to get in touch.
In July, I began training with Both Feet in both Manchester and Leeds – and it’s no exaggeration to say that it has changed my life.
Before I’d even finished the Introduction weekend, I had quit my job as a full-time children’s entertainer. By the time I’d finished the Core, I had booked a headshot shoot and begun applying for auditions.
The only way I can describe it is that I felt myself come alive.
I also began the daunting task of telling my nearest and dearest that I was giving up a full-time (albeit minimum wage) job in favour of pursuing my acting dreams. Predictably, responses ranged from ‘that’s nice, dear’ (what I like to refer to as the ‘pat-on-the-head’ response) to ‘what will you do for money?’ to ‘oh my god, this is perfect for you!’ with very little in-between. Thankfully, I’m learning more and more that other people’s opinions, whilst important, don’t matter as much as your own gut.
Now, all that remains is keep training and hope to find my way into the industry.
Piece of cake.
First thing’s first; I am taking every training opportunity that comes my way, whether that be with Both Feet or other local companies. Though scheduling is sometimes tricky with a hard-working husband and 2 small children to think about, thankfully I married an amazing man who supports me all the way.
Alongside training, I’m making a small amount of money as a freelance teacher, mumming with my two girls and, of course, spending an inordinate amount of time chatting with my inner critic – who likes to beat me round the head at any given opportunity with helpful phrases such as:
I could go on, but we might be here for some time…
So it was that, at a night out at the theatre last week (Red Ladder’s wonderful Mother Courage) I confessed to Steph that, as I was watching, I was struggling with my inner critic, who was in full ‘you’ll never be good enough’ mode.
Her response: ‘Everybody has that voice; you can either let it sink you or drive you.’
Thankfully, as it stands I’m choosing to let it drive me.
I still battle, of course. After all, my inner critic also likes to remind me that I have no formal actor training, no drama school qualification to bulk out my CV, no contacts with local companies and I’m horribly awkward at networking.
Instead, I come to the industry aged 34, my cap firmly in hand, armed with nothing but my enthusiasm, my dedication, my passion for performance and a burning fire in the pit of my stomach that tells me I have to do this.
The wonderful thing working with Steph and Adam is that I’m learning to accept my inner critic and overcome it. It’s all part of my progression. Every time I get up and do an exercise, I learn a little more. I’m not trying to be anything I’m not; I’m discovering new things about myself, working within my own reality and learning to trust in myself. It’s liberating, it’s exciting, and it’s very real.
All I can really say is a massive thank you to Steph (and Adam) for accepting me onto their training programme. When I started out, just a couple of months ago, I thought that this ‘might’ be the road that I was meant to take – now I’m absolutely certain, and I feel I’m building the right groundwork to help me progress professionally when opportunities – hopefully – present themselves.
Thanks for writing this blog for us Nicki. I'd imagine there are many other people out there, similar to you. Without sounding patronising, it takes real courage to make that jump, and most won't so make sure you tell your inner critic that. Adam and I love having you in class and I feel extraordinarily lucky to have watched you grow over the last few months. Watch out industry, Nicki is on a mission!
This is a wee blog from the totally stunning Alyce Liburd. She is a dream to work with and an incredible energy to have in any room. I would recommend her a thousand times over to any director and casting director. Not only is she a gorgeous actor, she's also a dancer, singer and a makeup artist. Thanks for taking the time to write this Alyce. Steph x
The day before and the day of my first day training with Both Feet I was beyond nervous. Like proper nervous!!!
What was I getting myself into?
What if everyone thinks I’m terrible? (I definitely used another word)
Do I even belong in a place like this?
Who am I to call myself an ‘Actor’? (I mean I have a headshot and professional credits so that counts right?)
And then all my worries and self deprecating thoughts kinda disappeared, if not just temporarily!
Throughout the first part of my training it was as if I’d finally found my ‘thing’. I haven’t been to drama school, to cut a long story short - I got in but just couldn’t afford to go which for awhile was harder than I imagine getting an actual no. This then meant I spent a lot of time wondering what type of training was out there and what would help me progress as an actor - Both Feet was everything I wanted and more.
I’d never felt as free before, to just ‘do’ and not expect an outcome or have any specific expectations.
Having had all kinds of exercises with emotions flying all over the place (one fiery and anger fueled exercise in particular sticks to mind) the thing I find the most cathartic is having the ability to sit back down to watch other fantastic actors work and not still ‘feel’ after, what I felt in those moments. I could leave it all behind in the work.
Another moment whilst training was in a technical gym class; I had another life altering/craft changing experience where I knew I was completely all in.
I shared such an emotional rollercoaster of an exercise with another actor; we had a given set of circumstances before entering the exercise, we knew who we were to each other and the situation we were in. In the middle of the exercise I had a revelation, just looking seeing him in that moment and reacting to what I saw and my impulses, it changed everything. You probably had the be there...
Another great exercise I had (the last one I’ll speak of.. promise) was during scene work with a wonderful Italian actress. Adam threw us a fantastic curve ball and asked her to speak all her lines in Italian. Can I speak Italian or understand it I hear you ask? NOPE!!
But by me knowing the context of our scene, having already ‘broken the back’ of it a couple of times and just responding to her - it was as if nothing had changed. CRAZY!!! I loved the curve ball (thanks Adam!).
I can also say that I have seen some of the most beautiful and stunning pieces of work whilst watching from the sidelines and feel that’s where I have done a hell of a lot of learning, as an outside eye.
I also don’t feel I would’ve had the opportunity to begin and continue this training had Steph not been so accommodating and BEYOND helpful to my financial situation.
It’s always something that has put me off training courses as it can be expensive and a lot of money to give away particularly when you’re unsure about a course to begin with. The pennies you have, you want to make sure it’s going to benefit you in every way possible.
I’d throw my money to any course Both Feet provided, as I know that I’d be letting myself in for a whole new discovery - every time.
In and amongst all the great things I have to say about Both Feet (and there is A LOT believe me) I have to say that I am proud of myself, what I have managed to achieve whilst training with them; but also taking the training with me to jobs and feeling confident. Which has been a mega step for me!!
And speaking of jobs, I am currently working at the Leeds Playhouse on ‘Airplays’ which was due to Steph recommending me to the director. I was and still am hugely grateful to Steph for putting her neck out for me as I believe recommendations are a big thing to live up to! And also the fact that Both Feet can potentially be a place for you to get work opportunities from is amazing.
I could describe my experience within an inch of my being but for you to really appreciate and experience the Meisner Technique with Both Feet, you have to be in it.
I’m so excited for what else training with Both Feet will unlock and if you have the opportunity to do so, don’t hesitate!!
~ Alyce x
Ps. I also promise to try and not ruin any more of Steph’s pictures... oops!! #seriousactor
AIRPLAYS is a BBC Radio Leeds and Leeds Playhouse co-production in association with Leeds College of Music.
Directed by Kash Arshad.
23-27th October 2018.
Buy tickets here