​Yes! You heard that statement Both Feet changed my acting but, most importantly, myself and my attitude towards everything. But before I start raving on about Both Feet and how thankful I was for my scholarship, let me take you through my journey.

2018...I was leaving LIPA Sixth form. I had just had my first round of Drama School auditions. In all honesty, it wasn't a bad first try at 18. I got two recalls, three foundations courses offer. The only slight problem, I couldn't afford them. That was a hard pill to swallow. I left LIPA with no clue where my next place would be and was ready to go back to my bar work.

Then one night, while flicking through Facebook, I found Steph's post about a scholarship for a year's worth of Meisner training with Both Feet. I applied, not expecting anything. But to my absolute surprise and pleasure, I got the scholarship. I screamed on the bus when the email came through. I was super, super excited to start and booked onto the intro course. I was on my train to Manchester when it hit me (maybe a bit late). WHAT THE F*CK IS MEISNER.

I walked into my first class at 18 years old and super nervous. This curly-haired lady greeted me with the biggest and warmest smile, Steph. We all settled into class, and then we were invited to sit in these two chairs opposite each other and state what we see in the other actor. I rolled my eyes, thinking, what has this got to do with acting! Telling someone what they look like what is that going to achieve?! Then it was my turn to sit in the chair. I swaggered up, thinking, "I got this". I was looking at this person, and my mind went blank. Then the voice in my head started panicking, "DO SOMETHING". So I started "acting". Steph stopped the exercise then said, "Cut the bullshit". I was stunned, but she was right. I didn't have to do anything apart from just be, which for us actors is a terrifying thing.

I continued the intro weekend, and I am not going to lie, it was hard! Then something shifted in the group. On the second day, a pair of actors in front of my eyes were falling in love.  It looked effortless. They finished the exercise then said they just felt so connected. In my head, something clicked. I wanted to do that. To be in the scene so connected with another human and to work with ease, not effort.

After that, I did every class I could do. I was hooked. It was a challenging year I felt constantly pushed. Sometimes I got it, and things just made so much sense. Other days I was ready to walk out but what made me want to stay was because when I acted in Both Feet class, the work that I saw and created was the best work I had ever done in my life. To work with ease and truth. I even went back and did the intro course three times! Because there is always something new to learn.

Before I knew it, the dreaded drama school auditions came back, but instead of going into the room trying to guess what they wanted, through my training with Steph, I went and was me. For the first time, I was comfortable just being me. Because guess what, that is more than enough. And if you wouldn't believe it, I got into Drama School!

It would be daft not to share Emily's awesome business venture whilst we're here:
Your Little Theatre
A small business focused on bringing a little theatrical magic and new experiences directly into the homes of professional thespians, art-lovers and amateurs alike! 
We are based in Yorkshire, and part of our mission is to bring our customers into contact with new play texts, without increasing their carbon footprint, and while also uplifting other small businesses to create the perfect ‘ensemble’ of sustainable, enriching, and above all, enjoyable products. 
Our product ranges are all diverse and affordable, perfect for creativity on a budget. Whether you’re a student simply trying to survive a round of Drama School auditions, or  just seeking that perfect gift for the thespian in your life, Your Little Theatre has got you covered.

On Tuesday I packed my bags and headed off for (the not so sunny) Leeds for a 4 day Vocal Intensive with the wonderful Barbara Houseman, completely unaware that I’d leave feeling like I’d found another part of me. It was so brilliant that I have to write about it.

We learnt the intricacies of our bodies and how every little thing is connected to your voice, from bad experiences to where you hold your head. On Tuesday, we started with the basics of how to breathe, which was a biggie for me as I tend to hold my breath for stupidly long periods. On Wednesday, we moved onto resonance and taking up space, which is something I’d never want to do in any situations so I’d hide behind my voice, or lack of. There’s something about hearing yourself speak so freely and clearly whilst everyone is listening to you. On Thursday we began looking at our texts and using different vocal exercises that we’d learnt to feel connected to them. And then Friday rolled around quicker than ever and we watched how much everyone had changed. I was (and still am) so full up with emotion by the time Friday was coming to an end with how much I’d learnt and allowed myself to know that it is okay to not care so much. It was such a pleasure sharing the room with such beautiful people and watching everyone on their own journey in discovering, you learn so much from other people and everyone was so so open. ​

All the while we had a very special guest in the room, little Pip. I am so amazed at the wonderful woman, Stephanie Morgan,  who introduced us all to Barbara and made it all possible. There’s not a lot of people who can say they’ve given birth to a human in the space of 6 weeks and was still so present and invested in the process. I think everyone in the room can agree that Pip brought a sense of joy and freedom to the week as he is truly the pinnacle of not giving a single fuck. And I got to have a cuddle for a which was bloomin lovely (and I usually don’t like babies). There’s not a lot of teachers out there that I’ve met who trust the people they work with so much, and makes such a safe environment to learn and fuck up. ​

I wanted to write this post to remember how I felt yesterday on the journey home from Leeds. And how I still feel now the day after. And hopefully, how I can continue to feel for as long as I can. I never knew that when I started acting that this would be the journey I’d be going on, or the journey I didn’t know I needed to go on. Especially as someone who hasn’t yet done and might not do their 3 years training at drama school, there’s always this feeling of not being good enough or worthy enough to be in this industry. But when it comes down to it, we’re all as fucked up and clueless as eachother – some are just better at admitting that than others. This training, and my training with both feet is definitely shaping me into the actor (and the person) that I want to be.
Loving yourself isn’t easy. As Barbara had said, just start by being kinder to yourself. The rest won’t be far behind.

Pinched (with permission) from Rhia's personal website.

We have many different actors come through our (Both Feet's) doors. Some who have been in the business for years, some who have just finished drama school and are wanting to continue their training, some who are gaining experience before applying to drama school, some who have been trying to live a life without acting/theatre and can no longer suppress the burning fire inside of them and have decided sod it, life is too short. Nicki Davy falls into the latter category (you can read her previous blog here). 

Nicki contacted me in July 2018 asking if she would be eligible to train with us. My question was... do you fit into our criteria of professional actor or seriously working towards an acting career? She said she thought so but she was terrified and could she try it, just to see. At this point, I have to listen to my gut - our class sizes are small and so I need to make sure that each person in our space is a good fit which means not everyone is invited to train with us. I trusted my gut told her to get signed up. 

By the time she had completed the initial 2 day Intro to Meisner in August she had quit her full time job and signed up to the next part of the training. By the time she had finished The Core 6 day course in September she had booked a hair appointment to help with her "castability", booked headshots, gotten her CV together and started to look for opportunities. She has attended every class we've ran since then including intensives and weekly classes, she's also completed a month of Scene Study with the lubbly Daniel Bradford over at Play with Fire, Manchester, gotten Christmas acting work, gone to several auditions, and been cast in several roles and done a couple of ADP Scripts Aloud nights (and probably much more!). Some "actors" don't to that amount in 2 years let alone a few months. She is a sponge when it comes to learning/honing her craft and it's awesome. 

I've spoken with Nicki a lot throughout and about her journey so far, in particular the plight with Spotlight. So I asked (seen as she's so wonderful at writing!) if she'd do a blog about it. Perhaps you've been/are in the same boat? Perhaps you've got a solution/an idea? Perhaps you'd like to take a punt on her? Perhaps you are Spotlight and would like to change your mind? We'd love to hear from you. 

Everyone has to start somewhere. Give a determined, hardworking, talented lady a break, eh?

Steph x

When I quit my full-time job to pursue a career in acting, I knew that it would be hard in lots of different ways. After all, even if an actor is lucky enough to get to auditions, there may just be someone more suitable, more qualified or better prepared that you are up against on that day. This is the business and I’ve learnt pretty quickly that a rejection for a role is not as simple as a rejection; it’s just part of the game. What would be the point in wasting energy fretting about it?  
Having said that, what I wasn’t prepared for was rejection before I’ve even got started. Rejection before I even get into the room. A Whole New World of rejection, if you’ll allow me a spurious Disney reference. 

As anyone in a similar position will know, this type of rejection is not a lot of fun.

Over the last 4 months, I have applied twice for a Spotlight account and received the same ‘Unsuccessful Application’ email both times.

Quite frankly, I don’t blame them at all for turning me down the first-time round; I would have laughed in my own face had I been sent my own application. But since then I have trained non-stop, been to auditions, secured roles across different types of media, worked for Equity minimum rates on 2 jobs. So, when my second application was turned down with the same template email that I got the first time round, it left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth.

On the basis that I have very little to lose, I rang them to plead my case.

During the conversation with the poor woman who was unlucky enough to pick up my call (she still didn’t accept my application, just FYI) I was told 3 things that really stuck in my throat:

1.‘If you were under 25 or you had been to drama school, we would accept you without any experience’
It’s hard to know what to say to this. As I’m nearly 10 years past this arbitrary cut-off point, there’s very little I can do to change the year that I was born. It turns out that the fact I didn’t have the insight to start my career 15 years ago is an instant mark against my name. Talk about kicking me when I’m down.
 
2.‘We can see that you are working, but we can’t accept any of your credits’
For me (ie. middle-aged, non-drama school alumni) it turns out that to be accepted onto Spotlight, I need to have 4 professional credits in ‘named, speaking roles in full-length theatre, film or television’. As such, the paid promenade work I did before Christmas doesn’t count; neither does the web series that is an ongoing project over the next year; nor does the full-length but unpaid play that I’ve been cast in for later this year. Apparently, not all work is created equal, and the irony of this eligibility criteria hasn’t escaped me: I can’t get access to ‘worthy’ castings without already having had access to ‘worthy’ castings and secured ‘worthy’ jobs – probably via Spotlight – which I can’t get access to because I haven’t had any ‘worthy’ castings… Crikey. Ultimately, if I was being cast in ‘professional, full-length theatre, film or television’ productions then I wouldn’t be tearing my hair out to get access to castings, no…?
 
3.‘Sorry, but we do have to keep a certain level of eligibility criteria. Everyone is in the same boat’
I was already on the edge by this point; this just pushed me over it.
Because by virtue of the conversation I had just had, quite clearly not everyone is in the same boat.
Did I go to drama school? No, so I’m not in the same boat as everyone who did.
Am I under 25? No, so I’m not in the same boat as anyone who is.
Am I working? Yes, absolutely. And I’m getting castings off my own back, without an agent.
Oh, you mean am I working in the things that Spotlight deems worthy? Erm… no. Sorry.

Don’t get me wrong: in no way am I suggesting that I am somehow more worthy of getting auditions than any other actor. On the contrary, I know and work with dozens of wonderful actors who are so deserving of all their success. I know that everyone out there has worked ridiculously hard to get to where they are, whatever their path has been, and I would never begrudge another actor for getting a job over me.

But the frustrating thing is that me and all the other people ‘in my boat’ (ie. the boat full of over 25s who haven’t been to drama school and are working but not working in the ‘right things’) are starting at a disadvantage. Despite working hard, securing paid work, throwing myself at this industry with everything I’ve got, I’m still not deemed ‘eligible’ to pay for the same service and be put up for the same castings as other actors.

So, what to do? Clearly everyone in my ‘boat’ just needs to continue doing what we can, making connections where we can, hoping that someone somewhere will give us a punt and lets us into an audition room when they can. Because I’d like to think that once through the door I can prove that I’m worthy of doing this, that I am wholly committed, that I will be a positive energy in a rehearsal room. Let’s just hope someone takes that punt one day, eh?

In the meantime, at least I’ve saved myself 154 quid of my hard-earned money in membership fees. Beers are on me. 

​Nicki x

The day before and the day of my first day training with Both Feet I was beyond nervous. Like proper nervous!!!
​
What was I getting myself into?
What if everyone thinks I’m terrible? (I definitely used another word)
Do I even belong in a place like this?
Who am I to call myself an ‘Actor’? (I mean I have a headshot and professional credits so that counts right?)

Impostor Alert!!

And then all my worries and self deprecating thoughts kinda disappeared, if not just temporarily!
​
Throughout the first part of my training it was as if I’d finally found my ‘thing’. I haven’t been to drama school, to cut a long story short - I got in but just couldn’t afford to go which for awhile was harder than I imagine getting an actual no. This then meant I spent a lot of time wondering what type of training was out there and what would help me progress as an actor - Both Feet was everything I wanted and more.

I’d never felt as free before, to just ‘do’ and not expect an outcome or have any specific expectations. 

Having had all kinds of exercises with emotions flying all over the place (one fiery and anger fueled exercise in particular sticks to mind) the thing I find the most cathartic is having the ability to sit back down to watch other fantastic actors work and not still ‘feel’ after, what I felt in those moments. I could leave it all behind in the work.

And speaking of jobs, I am currently working at the Leeds Playhouse on ‘Airplays’ which was due to Steph recommending me to the director. I was and still am hugely grateful to Steph for putting her neck out for me as I believe recommendations are a big thing to live up to! And also the fact that Both Feet can potentially be a place for you to get work opportunities from is amazing.

​I could describe my experience within an inch of my being but for you to really appreciate and experience the Meisner Technique with Both Feet, you have to be in it. 
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I’m so excited for what else training with Both Feet will unlock and if you have the opportunity to do so, don’t hesitate!! 

~ Alyce x