I’d come across Barbara Houseman’s work before in my acting training, so when a dear friend and voice teacher nudged me about a scholarship for Steph’s vocal retreat with Barbara, of course I applied - but didn’t actually think I had a chance of getting it. That was probably one of the signs that a post-pandemic reset was just what I needed.

On the train down to Wales, I wondered if I’d made the right decision - could I take a break that long from work, blah blah blah. But it ended up being one of the best things I’ve done all year.

We spent seven days working in Steph’s beautiful studio, surrounded by stone walls, wooden panelling, and floor-to-ceiling windows and skylights which filled the space with sunlight, and a view of the Autumn trees on the opposite hillside, which I watched change colour throughout the week.

I loved Barbara’s holistic approach to voice work, which saw us working on just about everything, starting with movement, then voice and finally, text.

We talk a lot about creating safe spaces in acting, but this truly felt like the safest learning environment I’d ever been in. That’s probably down to the thought and skill Steph put in to organising the course - from building the most beautiful studio I’ve ever worked in, to designing an environment for some pretty luxurious communal living, giving us spaces to gather in the evenings, as well as privacy, in rooms with curtained-off bunk-beds. 

Most important of all was the wonderful and supportive group of people Steph had gathered and who I felt very lucky to get to know - Steph herself, Barbara of course, and six other actors with their different backgrounds, and training, and skills. 

It took only a short time of working and living together for us to bond to the point where we felt comfortable being open and trying things out in front of each other, without any fear of judgement, or pressure to perform.  

In the evenings we cooked together and discussed the day. Or went for a hike as the sun set, or built a bonfire and toasted marshmallows. One morning we went wild swimming. We laughed a lot together, and we cried. We also sang a lot of show tunes.

Part of what I love about acting is that you’re always learning. I didn’t go to a full-time drama school, so over the years I’ve sought training in different places. In my experience, the best learning I’ve had isn’t the kind that feels neatly tied up at the end, where you’ve ticked a box on a skill or a module, but rather the kind that opens new doors, and makes you aware of new paths you’d like to explore.

‘Retreat’, to me, suggests some kind of emotional or physical withdrawal, except that this felt like a week of exactly the opposite. Bonding and connecting so quickly with new people requires a kind of emotional energy, openness, and presentness I feel hadn’t been asked of me since pre-pandemic. And physically, we were moving constantly, which was exactly what I need as a reset from the last year.  

I don’t know that ‘retreat’ encapsulates everything that the week was: too active to feel like a rest, too much work to feel like a holiday, too much fun to feel like work, too much learning to just be hanging out with friends.

On the last day we talked about what we’d learned. Everyone had some combination of things that are easy to measure - new voice exercises, tools for tackling text, a deeper understanding of your own voice. And then there were less tangible things - confidence, freedom, ease, peace. In short, it was a lot more than what you might expect to get from just 7 days. 

A part of me worried that it was the environment Steph had created which supported those less tangible things. So I was happy to find that when I got home, that enthusiasm, energy, and sense of peace I’d found, had come home with me. 

Thank you so much to Barbara and Steph for the scholarship and a week of training that has opened so many doors. I can’t wait to come back.

By Alexandra Boulton
See her Spotlight

Erm… no. 

Firstly, returning to Bodlondeb was always going to be special in itself. I may have only been there twice but it already holds a very special place in my heart and gut. The space is warm, welcoming and full of light – it pours into the studio whatever the weather. The sight of the rolling Welsh hills during the daytime is as beautiful as the stars that literally cover the sky during the night. 

The curtains round the individual beds in the bedrooms provide a level of privacy and space – which several people made use of as they needed it – while the sitting room provides a gorgeously snug space to get to know each other. I really enjoy communal living, and one of my favourite things about staying at the retreat is the chance to eat round a table with a group of adults every night (a treat I’m sure any parent will identify with…). 
Then, as the training started, any doubts that I might have had about repeating material were put to bed straight away. ​

Ultimately, we watched each other change. 

Did we repeat some of the same exercises from the 2019 course? Yep. 

Did I care? Nope. Not for one second. 

While I’m sure that we have all come away with technical skills and a deeper knowledge of vocal technique, when Barbara asked us on the last day what our learnings were, we were all saying the same things: trust, acceptance, allowing, grounding. All of which seem like a pretty solid base upon which to build our craft. 

My husband said to me last night, ‘you seem very alive since coming home’. He’s not wrong. And, most excitingly, I feel like I’ve only just scratched the surface. The phrase ‘life-changing’ gets bandied around a lot, but it doesn’t feel like an exaggeration in this case. 

Huge, huge thanks to both Barbara and Steph for welcoming our whole selves into the space every day with such openness and compassion.

I already can’t wait to go back. 

​Nicki x​

On Tuesday I packed my bags and headed off for (the not so sunny) Leeds for a 4 day Vocal Intensive with the wonderful Barbara Houseman, completely unaware that I’d leave feeling like I’d found another part of me. It was so brilliant that I have to write about it.

We learnt the intricacies of our bodies and how every little thing is connected to your voice, from bad experiences to where you hold your head. On Tuesday, we started with the basics of how to breathe, which was a biggie for me as I tend to hold my breath for stupidly long periods. On Wednesday, we moved onto resonance and taking up space, which is something I’d never want to do in any situations so I’d hide behind my voice, or lack of. There’s something about hearing yourself speak so freely and clearly whilst everyone is listening to you. On Thursday we began looking at our texts and using different vocal exercises that we’d learnt to feel connected to them. And then Friday rolled around quicker than ever and we watched how much everyone had changed. I was (and still am) so full up with emotion by the time Friday was coming to an end with how much I’d learnt and allowed myself to know that it is okay to not care so much. It was such a pleasure sharing the room with such beautiful people and watching everyone on their own journey in discovering, you learn so much from other people and everyone was so so open. ​

All the while we had a very special guest in the room, little Pip. I am so amazed at the wonderful woman, Stephanie Morgan,  who introduced us all to Barbara and made it all possible. There’s not a lot of people who can say they’ve given birth to a human in the space of 6 weeks and was still so present and invested in the process. I think everyone in the room can agree that Pip brought a sense of joy and freedom to the week as he is truly the pinnacle of not giving a single fuck. And I got to have a cuddle for a which was bloomin lovely (and I usually don’t like babies). There’s not a lot of teachers out there that I’ve met who trust the people they work with so much, and makes such a safe environment to learn and fuck up. ​

I wanted to write this post to remember how I felt yesterday on the journey home from Leeds. And how I still feel now the day after. And hopefully, how I can continue to feel for as long as I can. I never knew that when I started acting that this would be the journey I’d be going on, or the journey I didn’t know I needed to go on. Especially as someone who hasn’t yet done and might not do their 3 years training at drama school, there’s always this feeling of not being good enough or worthy enough to be in this industry. But when it comes down to it, we’re all as fucked up and clueless as eachother – some are just better at admitting that than others. This training, and my training with both feet is definitely shaping me into the actor (and the person) that I want to be.
Loving yourself isn’t easy. As Barbara had said, just start by being kinder to yourself. The rest won’t be far behind.

Pinched (with permission) from Rhia's personal website.